


Would You Hide Me Away

by slyfighter2011



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 3x05 tid bits, 3x06, Angst, I suck at tags, M/M, angsty, promo related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 06:30:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14372916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyfighter2011/pseuds/slyfighter2011
Summary: Okay.. 3x06 promos with bits and pieces referred to in 3x05..Try to understand it’s not completely as the title says..I don’t think Magnus would hide this love away. But This is how I feel Alec is feeling.-summary’s not my best-





	Would You Hide Me Away

**Author's Note:**

> DONT KILL MEE!!
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings) ;)

Alec’s feelings were all over the place, one moment he could be angry at everything. Everything that had happened in the last sixteen or so hours. It wasn’t exactly twenty-four hours, but it was close. After the disagreement, or whatever Magnus and he had. After drinks and what was a very quiet dinner between Magnus and himself. They hadn’t spoken much to each other, the just were living in the  _ here  _ and the  _ now.  _ Alec was trying, but somehow—no matter how hard he was trying to stay in the here and now. His mind was a wandering mess. 

His thoughts were of  _ him _ , being older than what he was now and Magnus staying virtually the same as he was  _ now. _ It was the middle of the night, and Alec was sitting out in the loft. They’d gone to bed hours ago. Alec had laid there for a while, trying to sleep—then he laid there watching Magnus. When it all became too much for Alec he’d crept out of bed, and into the living area of the loft. It was there that Magnus had called him  _ Pretty boy _ , over Jace. When they were trying to retrieve Clary’s memories. 

There was so much of  _ them,  _ in the loft already. Sure, it had been only  _ two  _ months. But, Alec was a shadowhunter. They lived fast because they died young usually. Maybe he’d been too bold with Magnus about asking if he could move in? Had it hurt about Magnus’ reaction. Yes, it had hurt. But it also hurt about how weird he was being.

Then he’d gone and done something stupid.

Alec let his curiosity win. 

Which caused him to look inside of Magnus’ box. The box held momentus of Magnus’ past loves. It made Alec, feel so many things. Maybe Magnus was right about him being jealous, but it just wasn’t that. Alec knew that much, it was as Magnus said that—he’d been upfront about his past. 

But, it also scared him. That one day that something. Some piece of him that Magnus had, would someday be in that box as well. He understood, why Magnus would hide and keep the box private.. But, was it wrong that Alec didn’t want to be hidden away inside of a box? Meaning that he didn’t want to be some piece that would only ever come out. Only when Magnus was feeling sentimental. Alec’s heart pounded in his chest and each throb, it broke him more. 

His head was in his hands, refusing to allow any tears to fall over the matter—no matter how much of him actually wanted to. 

Alec needed to distract himself and get out of his head for a little while. Sleep had already evaded him, and the peaks of the sun were rising. Magnus would soon be up as well. 

Living in the here and now.

Alec pushed himself off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. He was hungry, dinner—he mostly had pushed his food around. His stomach growled, thinking about French Toast. That sounded good, right.

Plus, it was a distraction from his mind. 

Staring down at the piece of bread frying in the skillet. Pouring his thoughts down on the piece of bread, but not really trying to. “Alexander?” Was what he heard. Magnus was awake, “In the kitchen.” There was a tired sound to his voice, but Alec straightened his slouch. “Good Morning.” Alec forced a smile. “Morning.” With that Magnus kissed his cheek. 

Alec closed his eyes as Magnus had moved around him to start on the coffee. There was a tension between them, one they both seemed to be ignoring. Trying to act as if it wasn’t there, but it was. Going about their normal routine of the morning. Alec didn’t always cook breakfast, they usually laid in bed far too late. Making him late to get to the Institute, but it wasn’t that Alec minded. 

Alec was trying to be in the here and now for them both.. But.. it was hard.

Just as the French toast finished cooking, Alec plated them both a plate. He walked over to the table where Magnus had been watching him from. “Here ya go.” A weak smile graced his face as he looked down at a makeup-less Magnus. Alec moved around the table to sit and try to enjoy his breakfast. 

“Mmmm, this is delicious!” Magnus spoke, breaking the silence between them. Alec shifted in his seat trying to get comfortable. “I haven’t this enamored of French toast, since well, since Julia Child made me petit dejeuner,” Magnus said, before cutting into the French toast again. “Good.” Alec awkwardly spoke. Talking as if nothing happened the day before, was making things tense and awkward. Though before Alec could stop himself— he spoke, “Maybe you should save the spatula I used for your little box.” Alec awkwardly looking away and picking up his cup of coffee taking a drink. Wishing he’d bit his tongue the moment he said it. He didn’t want to cause another spat between the two of them.

It just was..it was what it was.

“Alexander.” Alec turned his head watching Magnus drop the utensils and wipe his mouth. At this point he was chewing on the inner part of his lip, trying to keep himself from saying more. “If my mementos are still an issue for you.” A short pause was there, before Magnus said, “Perhaps, we should talk about it.” Alec didn’t want to talk about it anymore, at least not about  _ those.  _ It wasn’t  _ those _ mementos he cared about. 

“No, it’s my issue.” He stammered, knowing he wasn’t coming off clear enough. “It just—I got so swept up..that I never stopped  _ to  _ think about the  _ future. _ ” Alec looked at Magnus, yes he was upset. But it wasn’t about what was in  _ that  _ box, but what it represented for Magnus. That one day he too would just be an item for Magnus. One that Magnus choose, and one that Magnus would take out when Magnus choose to take out and think of him centuries after he was gone. 

“We fell in love,” Magnus said sincerely. 

Alec understood that because he was deeply in love with Magnus. Maybe that was what it was, that hurt him. He loved Magnus so much, and to see that he’d just be an item. Something that would end up out of sight, and only taken out when Magnus was feeling sentimental about  _ their _ past—when a new love graces his path. If there would be another, and Alec figured there would be. Maybe not right away, but Alec knew and wanted to understand the issue of  _ immortality _ . He wasn’t immortal though. 

Emotions were again running high, “There’s nothing else to think about.” But yes there was, at least there was for him, even if Magnus wanted to deny the fact and live only in the here and now. Magnus once told him,  _ ‘Even he couldn’t see the future.’  _ It was after the kiss Camille forced on Magnus. Alec hadn’t been upset about that, but it was what Camille had  _ said _ —about the immortality. That had him rocky, but that hadn’t changed how he felt about Magnus. 

Alec was staring at Magnus intently, “I can’t stomach the idea that one day, I’m going to be  _ old  _ and  _ feeble. _ ” Trying to stress those words enough, “And becoming  _ this  _ burden to you.” His heart quaked at the thought of being older, and Magnus being virtually the same as he was right now before him. 

“Look there’s no universe where you would ever be a burden.” Alec could hear the emotional crack in Magnus’ voice, his eyes closed at it. It broke his own heart. “You say that now…” Alec’s voice softened and became low. His eyes on Magnus, just after having opened them again, but then dropped to his plate.

Alec wasn’t as hungry as he’d been when he’d started making it. Had Alec even been hungry, he had—at least he thought he had. The tension in the room grew as the silence grew. That much Alec knew, “Alexander.” Magnus said barely above a whisper. He was hurting just as much as Alec, if not possibly a little more. “You must know that’s not true.” Alec didn’t know what to believe, but he didn’t want to be a burden to Magnus. Nor did he want to be something of some item placed in a box—for centuries.

“Is this all because you’re the only guy I’ve ever been with?” Not sure where that came from, maybe it was something Alec didn’t understand—as far as multiple relationships went. Alec didn’t know, and the more he thought about being something it a box. It upset him. “You’re putting words in my mouth.” He wasn’t at least not really, at least it wasn’t how he thought. He wanted to understand it—but Magnus was his first love— _ his _ only love. Because to Alec, he knew that this was it for him. “I’m not a child, Magnus.” Alec sternly said because he wasn’t. “Then stop acting like one.” Maybe this part of their spat had been slightly childish of him— _ maybe.  _

Pushing away from the table, he stood. Alec needed away before he said something he’d truly regret. He left, just like that. Alec knew he was needed at the Institute anyways. Alec needed space, and with what else was happening around him—them besides  _ this. _ It was only a fraction Alec’s frustration but seemed to be the nail on the head of everything else. 

The greater demon—they still knew next to nothing about. That had messed with the ley lines, that Magnus and himself had uncorrupted. Together.

The Owl. Which they knew next to nothing about, besides it being the source of all the mundane deaths. 

Jace. Everything with him had been weird since they’d all returned from Alicante. Alec  _ knew  _ something happened. His parabatai rune disappeared, Jace had  _ died _ —and somehow was life. Though Jace and Clary were both lying about what really happened.

There was Maryse—his mother. With his parents’ divorce and everything that had happened with Valentine. The Clave had reclassified her as a traitor and was planning on running her. That was what he’d learned at the family dinner. It was also where his mother had accepted Magnus. 

And now all of this. With Magnus, was all too much.

Maybe sleep was what he needed at the moment. Then he’d apologize to Magnus for the tiff, he’d started, and try to talk it out more than what they had hoped. Alec just didn’t want to be an item inside of a box. He just didn’t want to be something hidden away from any other lovers Magnus may  _ or _ may not have after  _ him.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and Kudos I love them! Thanks for reading


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